Today I have..........
Made my hair appointment.
Reserved a hotel room for an over night trip were taking.
Paid the monthly bills.
Planned next weeks meals.
I have not scheduled my appointment for a stress test. There are no known heart problems, this is just a routine maintenance test, you know....the kind of maintenance that come with advancing years. Sort of like extra fiber in your diet. It seems to take more effort to maintain status quo these days. It is neither painful nor messy, yet I dread it. I have always been able to do the test on the treadmill, and thus avoid the injection of a drug to raise my heart rate, and I hope that continues.
Why am I dragging my feet to make the call? I would probably guess it's the fear of the unknown. For a person who is barely, hardly not at all, Lord help me.... health conscious (i.e. overweight) there is always the dread of your undisciplined health habits catching up with you, especially when confronted and tested in a medical setting! God has been so good to me thus far. No diabetes, or major issues other then that blasted arthritis and having to replace a few joints, which I'm so thankful went well.
My weight is my biggest, I don't even know the word to use here......I guess I would say.the biggest weight on me. It cannot be hidden, it's right there for the world to see...and often judge. The depression, anger, sadness, embarrassment, and so on it causes should be enough for me to get a grip on it - once and for all. I should add....please don't give me weight loss advice. I could write a book on the way to lose weight. I know all the answers. I've done all the answers.
I will make that call, I will go and have the stress test and pray every thing is OK. I will also try for the um-teenth time to take off some weight. If I didn't believe that through God all things are possible, I wouldn't even try, because in myself I am weak, but I am not without hope.
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